My pastor and friend often reminds us that our perception determines our reception, and as I am now back working day to day with the general public in customer service, I ask God every day to let me see people the way He does. His answer is always the same.
“I LOVE THEM.”
I’ve told this story before, but it changed everything for me in regards to how I perceive people.
I had been invited to join a group of artists for dinner one night, and while there, I spent most of my time listening to the conversations going on around me. At the opposite end of my table sat several women, and one of them was sharing her concerns about how difficult it was for her daughter to get a date because she was lesbian.
My immediate internal comment was, “Well, good. I’m glad she has trouble.” Then I slapped an internal hand over my mouth for thinking something so insensitive.
As I continued to listen, the woman explained that Tinder wasn’t working out for her daughter, and she couldn’t just walk up to another girl at the bookstore to ask her out.
I suddenly connected with this woman and her daughter on a level I wouldn’t have expected. The mother was sad and frustrated for her daughter’s struggles in life, and the daughter simply wanted to find love and an intimate, personal relationship with another human.
The way I felt or believed about the daughter being lesbian no longer mattered. She was a human being who was struggling to find connection and companionship that could lead to love. The kind of love we all desire so badly. My heart broke for her.
I didn’t, and still don’t, know her or her mother. But I often wonder if she found what she was looking for.
That was the beginning of my willingness to view people not by what they do, but as humans worthy of love. My perspective of people irrevocably changed that day, and it has radically affected how I respond to every person I meet.
The way in which you and I view or frame a person or event will very quickly determine how we will respond or react. Our perception of our fellow humans can be misdirected in any number of ways.
This is why first impressions matter so much, but the CRAZY thing about first impressions is that they are nearly always skewed in some way. Rarely do we see the ‘real’ person at first, but unfortunately, unless you are intentional about it, that first meeting can influence every interaction you have with them afterwards.
Sometimes, we don’t have to meet them personally to form an impression of them. Our beliefs are often strongly influenced by the opinions and stories of others. So much so that when we finally do meet them for the first time, we respond according to what we’ve heard.
But – One way to guard against this tendency, is to lead with love.
Every human being, no matter who they are, what they have done, or where they are in society is loved deeply by God.
This is especially important to remember when we disagree with someone’s lifestyle, beliefs, clothing, social status, or any other external thing that we can fixate on. We love to give people labels.
Gay. Addicted. Divorced. Homeless. Transgender. Muslim. Black. Republican.
The list could go on and often those labels determine how we receive those people into our lives. Or DON’T receive them.
What if we approached every person with one label: LOVED BY GOD.
What would happen if we received them in the kind of love GOD would show them if He were in our place? Not the way your church or denomination says God would, but as the God of the Bible DOES.
When you meet someone new, remind yourself that they are intensely and personally loved by God. Then remind yourself that YOU just may be the only Christ Follower they know. Then, make sure their perception of Christ in you is the same as the love Christ showed you before you knew Him.
Together, let’s all lead with love, and together, we can change the world!