Ezekiel 11:19 “And I will give them one heart, and put a new spirit within them. And I will take the heart of stone out of their flesh and give them a heart of flesh, that they may walk in My statutes and keep My ordinances and do them. Then they will be My people, and I shall be their God.”
One of the earliest prayers I remember praying was to ask God to give me a teachable spirit. How I knew to ask for that is a mystery to me, but He has faithfully answered it over and over. He has changed my heart in ways that are difficult to put into words.
My newest book, Safe Cages, came from a moment when He did just that. I was sitting at a table with a group of artistswhen one of the ladies at the opposite end began talking about how her daughter was having a difficult time finding a date because she was a lesbian. She described how it was almost impossible for her to simply walk up to another girl to ask her out.
My first thought was, “Well, good.” Immediately, I clapped an internal hand over my mouth, ashamed to have such a callous thought. For the rest of the conversation, I kept my mouth shut and listened. Not just to the woman talking about her daughter, but to God who was breaking my heart for someone who believed and lived very differently than I do.
As I listened, I came to realize that never once before that moment had I considered that the desire I had for companionship, intimacy, and deep friendship with my husband was no different from the desire those in the LGBTQ community have for each other.
I was seriously ashamed of myself.
If I werecompletely honest, until that moment, I truly hadn’t given the topic much thought at all. I knew (or thought I knew) what the Bible says about relationships outside of the marriage between one man and one woman. I believed there was nothing to discuss.
What I failed to understand is that believing a behavior to be wrong is much different than believing a PERSON is wrong. The difference is in understanding what it means to accept someone vs.tolerating them.
When I accept someone, I will affirm and validate who they are as a PERSON. I will be willing to love, support, and encourage them. I will be focused on helping them be the best themthey can be, even if that means they are different from me.
When I tolerate someone, I hold them at arm’s length. This creates tension and makes it difficult to truly love, support, or encourage thembecause I am focused mostlyon making sure I don’t encourage or appear to support the part of themI don’t agree with.
By accepting people – all people – exactly the way they are, I build relationships. I learn things I didn’t know before. I understand things I wouldn’t have understood before. And in the process, I am changed, my faith grows, and, if I take the time to let God speak to me through the differences, I become even more grounded in what I believe.
That is where the story arc for Safe Cages came from. As I opened my heart to the LGBTQ community and listened to those who have a desire for love and intimacy that is equally as strong as mine for my husband, God asked me some hard, hard questions. Writing the book was my way of working through those answers.
These are a few of the questions I wrestled with as I wrote Michael and Sam’s story.
If an LGBTQ individual or couple comes to my church how will I receive them?
If a married or committed LGBTQ couple comes to my church and accepts Christ as the Savior of their life, how will I help them grow in their relationship with Christ?
If a married or committed LGBTQ couple or individual comes to me after receiving Christ and agrees that they should not be together, how will I help them navigate the emotional and spiritual heartache that comes with separating from a partner they love?
How would I counsel an LGBTQ individual who is committed to Christ, yet their feelings, desires, and physical needs continue to go unchanged and unmet?
I don’t have all the answers, but the process of writing Safe Cages gave me a place to think through some of the ways I would respond. It also gave me a way to put myself in the shoes of someone very different from myself, and I did my best to see things from their point of view. It’s not perfect, but it helped me better understand that love is love, feelings are real, and heartache is the same for everyone.
By the time the book was finished, I had more questions than when I started, and my heart broke in ways I didn’t expect. This story challenged what I believed about the LGBTQ community and homosexuality specifically. My faith is stronger now than it was when I sat at that table and found myself unfairly judging someone for something I didn’t understand. Now it is a faith that is driven by compassion, acceptance, and genuine love for a fellow human being who, at their very core, is not different from me.
Christian.
From the moment they met at the batting cages, Michael Casio and Sam Jones have been best friends.
When his feelings for Sam developed into something that conflicted with his strict Christian upbringing, Michael fled the state hoping the forbidden attraction would go away.
Sam was sure he’d lost his friend for good and did his best to move on. But when Michael came home willing to risk it all, they discovered a love neither of them would have imagined possible.
Their life seems perfect until a series of events leads them to Cornerstone Community Church, where they have an encounter with God and His love changes everything.